Tuesday 24 May 2011

The Nonsense Column

Steve McClaren has fuelled speculation about his appointment as new manager of Chelsea by expressing his wish to return to management in England. He has also been spotted buying an umbrella with the Chelsea FC crest on it. He did however admit he may lose the unmistakable Dutch accent he picked up whilst managing Dutch club FC Twente.

Carlos Tevez is nearing to completing his move to Blackpool with the belief he is more likely to tempt his family to move to the glitz, glamour and Pleasure Beach of Blackpool rather than Manchester.

An unnamed Premiership footballer is discussing unknown conditions with an unnamed club.

Steven Gerrard is planning to approach Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson and beg him to give him the chance to follow in former teammate Michael Owen’s steps and move to the club to finally get a Premiership Winner’s medal.

Manchester City goalkeeper Joe Hart considers retiring from International duty to ‘pro-long his club career’.

Due to laws involving super injunctions, it is believed next season commentators may not be able to say the name of certain players during match commentary. Also due to super injunctions preventing images being published of certain Premier League players, TV stations have been told they may have to blur the faces of some players out during match coverage.

Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp is set to miss out on one of his summer transfer targets after flying out to France to personally seal the deal but had his cheque book taking in a mugging outside the training ground of the player’s club.

Wigan owner Dave Whelan and manager Roberto Martinez are setting their sights on Champions League football after deservedly escaping the relegation drop... again.

Fernando Torres said he was ‘delighted’ to be accepting the Golden Boot award for this season and said he wanted to thank his team mates from both clubs and claimed he was fortunate that the chances just fell for him this year.

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